Dormitory Olympics

The coming of spring has brought out the active side of all the young co-eds at colleges and universities large and small around the country. However, the dismal winter of the Midwest could not keep us from creatively letting out our energy (and do we have energy--well, when we're not bored; then we have mono.) Here we offer a sampling of activities particularly suited to the venue of a dorm.

Basement-Hall-Skating is one of the original dorm games. Especially rewarding when combined with the turning in of a term paper or lab project to an in-building office. This is obviously done best with the proper equipment: socks and a buddy or two. The objective is to slide the farthest, or slam into the walls the fastest. It is open to all students of all abilities. The only restriction is time: the prime hours for B-H-S are from 1:30 to 4:20 am. Do not invite hall maintenance staff to join you--they are unable to fully appreciate the complexities of the sport. Related sports include Key-Sliding.

Fishing. Yes, it IS an indoor sport! With the proper equipment. Loft Jumping is a sport often practiced by those who are in deep sleep or in another form of altered consciousness. Those most practiced in this sport have the ability to forget their involvement, and are often lucky enough not to keep any, uh, reminders (bruises, scrapes, concussions^) of the event.

Furniture Moving. Typically involves the theft of furniture from one floor's study lounge and relocation of it to a more suitable location. Like the elevator. Or your own study lounge. Version2: A seasonal event. A group of students endeavors to recreate that homey dorm room atmosphere in the great outdoors. Generally, furniture is moved to a sunny, high traffic area outside the dorm. The results are not only charming, they create a wonderful opportunity to drink alcohol in the presence of the Grad Assistants (yes, Big Al, that includes you) or other powers that be. Culinary Exhibitions. Okay, so we did this at every meal. And it was still fun. Tapeworm cookies were a favorite, though not discovered until near the end.

Pest Control. Ok, so it was pet-napping. It wasn't my idea! In fact, I tried valiantly to restore the pets to their rightful owners. Unfortunately, we discovered the culprits were none other than those pet owners themselves.

Tests of Mental Agility: The Cafeteria. In this exciting and terribly difficult sport, contestants are presented with a "dish" and challenged to identify it. Correct identification (as determined by consensus) merits fun prizes!

Battle of the Bands. The objective of this activity is to prove not only to your competitors, but to the rest of the dormitory, that your stereo system is undeniably the best. Or at least the loudest. Judged by distance of the farthest complaints.

Tests of Creativity. When the other options in this guide are unavailable, or have already been exhausted, we college students occasionally fall back on the old creative streak. Composition of poetry, music (particularly songs featuring cafeteria "specials" or staff), or simply performances of others' work take center-stage. Or something.


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