Once upon a time there was a beautiful young maiden named Hedwig. She lived in a very large and marvelously juicy plum. She had shelter, provided by the plum's pit, and food and water, provided by its flesh. It was a happy life, but Hedwig felt that something was missing. "Something is missing in my life!" she exclaimed to her plummate, Flavia, who was not nearly so beautiful as Hedwig. "Then let us go seek our fortunes together in the Great Wide World," answered Flavia. So the two maidens went to seek their respective fortunes in the Great Wide World (GWW). Hedwig and Flavia ate their way to the surface of the plum, and bid their home goodbye. "Goodbye!" they said sorrowfully. As they neared the main road, they spotted a man. "Hello, man!" they said. "Why, hello, maidens," he replied. He was clearly a nabob. "Would you like to join me for dinner in my avocado?" "Why, we have always wanted to dine in an avocado," they answered joyfully. They all headed off to the avocado for supper. As they approached the nabob's avocado, they say that it was no ordinary avocado, but a magnificent castle. "Why, your avocado is a castle," said the lovely Hedwig. "You must be a prince!" "Why, yes I am," he stated. They then ate a sumptuous feast. "Will you be my princess, Hedwig?" "Why yes!" And so Flavia and Hedwig bought a beautiful banana and lived there happily ever after.
The Jonah Saga Two stories by S.L. SalingerPart I Jonah looked around the room wiping the sleepy sand from his eyes. It didn't matter what they said; to him it would always be sleepy sand. His mother had laughed at him every time he called it that. "Sand can't be sleepy," she had said myriad times. Now she was dead. Jonah's brother called it eye snot. What a silly child he was. The doctors said he needed to call it that though. He needed a substitute for his nose, which was lost in a freak tricycle accident when he was young. Jonah looked around the room curious as to what his classmates called his friend, the sleepy sand, and wondering what cruel fates awaited them. Part II Jonah stepped out of the motor home. "So, this is the troubled motor park you wanted me to save?" The lady washing her underwear at the communal water spiket look up. "Are you speaking to me kid?" "Am I speaking to you? Am I speaking to you!?! How can you ask that? I am here to save you, you motor park sinners!" The lady quickly hid her underwear behind her back. "I have been to the sandy hell and back for you. I have been cast out of my motor home convoy because of my obligation to you. I have . . ." "Hey kid, wipe that eye snot off your face. I can't . . ." "WHAT? How dare you ? I come to save you and you sin to me?" Needless to say, the lady and her underwear suffered a most painful death.
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