Volume 4, Number 2, Page 5

Dear Danforth,

Dear Readers,
	Welcome to my world!  I am happy to be sitting in for Pud and Cam while they
are on strike.  Unless you write to them, I guess that you all and I will be
together for a while.  So, let's get to know each other!  I'm Danforth.  I
lost my job not too long ago, and while I'm waiting to start working again,
thought I might as well help out a little newsletter in need.  I hope to
prove to you that I am not just another "pretty face" of the advice columnist
world, but a great mind, too.  So, ask me your toughest questions.  I'd love
to help!

Dear Danforth,
	My boyfriend always tries to control me.  He thinks he should determine my
actions and my opinions.  What should I do?

		Torn in Tipton

Dear Torn,
	Chances are, your boyfriend knows more than you do.  So listen to him!  But
if you find yourself truly torn, I recommend a good game of golf.  It never
fails to lift my spirits.  Thanks for your letter!

Your Friend,
		Danforth


Letters To The Editor To: The OUMMCBNOM Staff: It was a relief to get a copy of your newsletter! I thought that you had followed the example of the Detroit papers, and that there was labor strife in your ranks . . . . The "Fun Page Wordsearch" was fun- especially the messages that followed the words. I read "Marshmallow Despair." It was good. I liked it. Sometimes I laughed. I should have felt despair. It was fine . . . . Your retired fan, Mrs. A Letter From The Editor I hope you have enjoyed this edition of the OUMMCBNOM. Those of you with keen eyes may have noted that this is the Mid Summer edition of the OUMMCBNOM. The sharpest among you may have additionally noted that it is not Mid Summer. In fact, it is about as far from Mid Summer as it gets. If this discovery has caused you to say to yourself, "My goodness! The dedicated staff of the OUMMCBNOM must be having some sort of difficulty publishing their brilliant newsletter regularly. Perhaps I should do something to help," please follow your heart and write an article, story, movie review, horoscope, or anything else you think our readers might enjoy. You can submit your manuscript to any OUMMCBNOM staff member or send it directly to the Printing Offices via the internet, where their address is KTBecker@aol.com. I look forward to reading your scintillating works.
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