Mid Summer Edition, 1995 Free with purchase of doughnuts for staff Volume 4, Number 2
Are you growing weary as yet another school year slowly meanders by? Well, chin up! It's time for another issue of the OUMMCBNOM to brighten your otherwise lifeless days. Unfortunately, we have disturbing news to report.
Prudence and Camilla have gone on strike. You may recall that the only form of payment they receive for their invaluable services is the joy which they receive from your letters. Recently, however, they have been finding an infinitesimally small number of letters in their mailbox. The two have vowed not to answer any subscriber's letter until at least one letter to them is received, at which point they will happily resume their duties. Please write to Pud and Cam! They are an integral part of our newsletter. We cannot bear to be without them for long. In the mean time, we have a special guest columnist whom we hope you will find sufficient cause to write to Pud and Cam.
In other news, the OUMMCBNOM staff is proud to announce the crowning of our mission statement! However, it would be foolish for us to tell you what the chosen goal is now, for then you would not read on. So, an exciting article about the mission statement, including an interview with its author, will be featured in this issue. Also in this issue, we have a new Deep Contemplations, a second titillating installment of Marshmallow Despair, and much more!
On a more sour note, we must report that not one reader has yet submitted lyrics to the YUB (Yet Unnamed Band). For those of you who have blotted this contest out of your mind because of the unfathomable guilt you feel over not having entered, let us remind you that it is a contest to write lyrics and/or music for the YUB, a band recently formed by some of the OUMMCBNOM staff members. If you enter now, you are automatically a winner! Please do so.
We hope that you enjoy this issue of the OUMMCBNOM!
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