As those of you who read your OUMMCBNOM regularly know, progress in the OUMMCBNOM Mission Statement Contest has been halted for the past few month as a three-way-tie has remained unbroken. So, we have decided that we must revitalize this contest by creating a second round of competition. Only the best mission statements have been allowed to enter round two. The three tied entries, one Printing Office Staff's Choice entry, and one randomly chosen entry will be the selection from which you can pick your favorite. However, we will not tell you which entry is which, as we would not want this to effect your choice. All missions will be beginning this round on equal footing. Please turn in your mission statement ballot (located on the last page of this OUMMCBNOM) to an OUMMCBNOM staff member by November 25. We really mean it this time! Now, let's meet the contestants. Mission Code Letter "A" "Outspoken, Unruly, Menacing, Multi-dimensional, Creative, Berating, Nervy, Outrageous, and Modest and to Make Issues of our day Seem Serious even If they are Only the Natural nonsense of our foolish world." Mission Code Letter "B" "Our mission is to increase the Jell-o-like substance in our subscribers' heads and yet help them remain living, breathing, non-functioning microorganisms. In addition we would like to suck the Jell-o-like substance out with a handheld vacuum and eat it at teatime with Prudence & Camilla, in effect leaving the subscribers as nonthinking..." Mission Code Letter "C" "If we write it, you will read." Mission Code Letter "D" "The mission or goal of the OUMMCBNOM is to provide a newsletter that reflects the ideas and minds of its readers. The purpose of the OUMMCBNOM is to: a) entertain, b) inform in a manner suited to its readers, c) provide a place where odd minds can express themselves, and d) become and emissary for social change."* *What the Body Shop hopes to be. Mission Code Letter "E" "Our mission is to keep a few psychotic young girls busy so they don't do things even stranger than writing this newsletter."
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