Volume 3, Number 8, Page 5

Ribbon O' The Month

	OUMMCBNOM readers, beware!  If the right to bear arms is abridged, as many
people hope that it will be, not only will your right to own guns be taken
from you, but your right to bear nuclear arms is also in danger.  The right
for a private citizen to have their own nuclear weapons is vital to
maintaining American democracy, and so it is important that this right not be
yanked from our constitution.  Please wear the attached ribbon, so that all
can know of the dangers faced by nuclear weapons lovers all across the
country-hunters, collectors, and people who only wish to protect their homes
from similarly equipped neighbors.  Wear this ribbon, and protect your right
to bear nuclear arms!

Friendly Reminder

Just a friendly reminder to vote for your favorite OUMMCBNOM mission statement before Thursday, May 18. If you have already forgotten what they were, please read the following summaries. 1) Mission 1 is a witty acrostic of the words "OUMMCBNOM MISSION". 2) To suck jell-o-like substance out of subscribers' heads. 3) "If we write it, you will read." 4) To give away little mermaid band-aids and coloring books. 5) To suck money out of our subscribers. 6) Mission 6 is a complex statement with four points. 7) To keep the OUMMCBNOM staff busy. 8) To help hippo artists display their work. 9) Provide subscribers with foster care, adoption, or institutional care.

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