Volume 3, Number 7, Page 3

THE OUMMCBNOM GOES COMMUNIST!

	Yes, we at the OUMMCBNOM have decided it is high time we reject the jaded
ideals of capitalism.  We have come to the conclusion that denying people
access to the OUMMCBNOM merely because they cannot pay $1.50 is a horrible
injustice.  As a result, it will no longer be necessary for you to pay our
exorbitant fees when renewing your subscription.  Merely sign the form we
give you and immediately return it to your Friendly OUMMCBNOM Staff Member,
and you will continue to receive this somewhat monthly publication for
another gleeful year.
	At this point, some of you may be remembering the OUMMCBNOM fee policies of
days past.  Before we lay them to rest, we would like to pause for a moment
to reflect upon these complication systems which took so much time and effort
to devise.  Ah, our first subscription fee.  We remember it well.  It was
probably only 25 cents, but it was a milestone event for the OUMMCBNOM.  Then
the OUMMCBNOM grew.  We had to raise our subscription fees.  But, the
OUMMCBNOM is an honorable newsletter, and those subscribers who had been
promised never to have to pay a penny for their cherished OUMMCBNOM remained
uncharged.  But the record keeping became complicated.  Some people owed
nothing, some $2.00, some $1.50, and then there was the special library fee,
and the mailing fee, and the July issue fee.  And when time came for a
subscription to be up, subscription forms were either never returned or were
lost by an OUMMCBNOM staff member who would like to remain anonymous.
	Because forms and fees would get lost, it became almost impossible to tell
who had paid and who hadn't.  And the OUMMCBNOM staff began giving everyone
the benefit of the doubt.  The subscribers caught on.  As long as one person
paid, no one else had to, because the anonymous staff member could never
remember who it was that had given up his/her $1.50.  The fall of the
OUMMCBNOM subscription fee had been coming for a long time.  
	Not only is the OUMMCBNOM taking great strides forward in the struggle
toward equality for all, but we are also providing the OUMMCBNOM staff
secretary with the most wonderful gift she could ever hope for.  So to all
you out there who have found it more economical to read someone else's paper
than to renew your subscription (and don't think we don't know who you are,
Andrew), you can now enjoy all the benefits of having your very own
newsletter subscription.  Of course, since we at the OUMMCBNOM are being so
generous, you do understand that you are now all obligated to turn in your
surveys as well as actually read the articles that take us so long to write.
	We know you'll do your duty.  And remember--we still accept donations.


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