Yes, we at the OUMMCBNOM have decided it is high time we reject the jaded ideals of capitalism. We have come to the conclusion that denying people access to the OUMMCBNOM merely because they cannot pay $1.50 is a horrible injustice. As a result, it will no longer be necessary for you to pay our exorbitant fees when renewing your subscription. Merely sign the form we give you and immediately return it to your Friendly OUMMCBNOM Staff Member, and you will continue to receive this somewhat monthly publication for another gleeful year. At this point, some of you may be remembering the OUMMCBNOM fee policies of days past. Before we lay them to rest, we would like to pause for a moment to reflect upon these complication systems which took so much time and effort to devise. Ah, our first subscription fee. We remember it well. It was probably only 25 cents, but it was a milestone event for the OUMMCBNOM. Then the OUMMCBNOM grew. We had to raise our subscription fees. But, the OUMMCBNOM is an honorable newsletter, and those subscribers who had been promised never to have to pay a penny for their cherished OUMMCBNOM remained uncharged. But the record keeping became complicated. Some people owed nothing, some $2.00, some $1.50, and then there was the special library fee, and the mailing fee, and the July issue fee. And when time came for a subscription to be up, subscription forms were either never returned or were lost by an OUMMCBNOM staff member who would like to remain anonymous. Because forms and fees would get lost, it became almost impossible to tell who had paid and who hadn't. And the OUMMCBNOM staff began giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. The subscribers caught on. As long as one person paid, no one else had to, because the anonymous staff member could never remember who it was that had given up his/her $1.50. The fall of the OUMMCBNOM subscription fee had been coming for a long time. Not only is the OUMMCBNOM taking great strides forward in the struggle toward equality for all, but we are also providing the OUMMCBNOM staff secretary with the most wonderful gift she could ever hope for. So to all you out there who have found it more economical to read someone else's paper than to renew your subscription (and don't think we don't know who you are, Andrew), you can now enjoy all the benefits of having your very own newsletter subscription. Of course, since we at the OUMMCBNOM are being so generous, you do understand that you are now all obligated to turn in your surveys as well as actually read the articles that take us so long to write. We know you'll do your duty. And remember--we still accept donations.
Previous Page | Next Page | Index