Volume 3, Number 7, Page


Welcome to Ask The Republican.  Today we have a very special column.  As you
know, Prudence and Camilla were recently lost at sea while traveling aboard
the cruise ship Sea Ferret (elegantly equipped with only the best for your
travel enjoyment).  In today's column, a reader asks the Republican about the
possible role it and its party played in Pud and Cam's tragedy.

Dear Republican,
	I was saddened to hear about Pud and Cam and the Sea Ferret.  I began to
wonder, "What could have lead to a disaster like this?"  When I researched
the situation further, I found that the Sea Ferret had no communications
equipment, no life rafts, and no compass!  I began to wonder "Who would be
stupid enough to let a ship go sailing like that?"  And then it occurred to
me: Republicans, of course!  I did more research, and found that Congress had
indeed passed a bill to cut regulations, and I believe that regulations such
as those for a ship to have communications equipment, life rafts, and a
compass must have been included in those deemed unnecessary.  However,
tragedies like this prove the need for regulations, no?

		Saddened in Sardinia

Dear Saddened,
	I, too, was distressed to hear of Pud and Cam's situation.  However, think
of all the people who travel each year in compassless ships without mishap.
	And think about how much money these ships save their passengers.  The price
of a cruise that would have cost $4,000 can be brought to a point where
almost anyone can afford to travel in luxury.  Sure, some of them will never
return, but most of them will.  And what are a few lives when money is

Sending My Best Wishes to Pud and Cam,

			The Republican

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