Early Winter Edition, 1994 See page 3 for pricing information Volume 3, Number 7
Hie Thee Hence!
Peace, ho! The OUMMCBNOM speaks! And, as usual, it must apologize for being so dreadfully late. But the OUMMCBNOM will soon begin a new era: one in which newsletters are on time, and in which subscribers pay no fee! Yes, you read correctly, newsletters will be on time beginning with the Late Spring edition. Now that you have become so thoroughly entranced by the idea of an on-time OUMMCBNOM, let us proceed to the second point of our plan for rebirth. Our subscribers will be charged no fee! A great deal of consideration went in to this decision, and the major factors effecting its adoption were: the OUMMCBNOM record keeping office loses track of its records quite often, no one ever turns in subscription fees, we have enough money to last until (yes, we know that you hate to talk about it, but someday it will come) to end of the OUMMCBNOM, and, most importantly, the OUMMCBNOM offices should spend more time writing the newsletter than keeping track of subscription fees. However, it is now more important than ever that you turn in your subscription form, which will now simply entail signing your name on a sheet of paper. In the past, this has caused considerable difficulty for some subscribers, but with a little practice, we are sure that all of our subscribers will be signing their names like pros! Now for news of Pud and Cam. We regret to inform you that the ship they were cruising on, the famous and luxurious Sea Ferret, has been lost at sea. Reports indicate that the Sea Ferret was traveling near Iceland when it simply disappeared. Pud and Cam are still managing to return letters, though, so don't forget to write! For more information on their status, see this month's Ask The Republican. Again, the entire staff of the OUMMCBNOM apologizes sincerely for the nearly defunct nature of the OUMMCBNOM. But fear not. We will rise again!