Volume 3, Number 6, Page 4

Are People Really Stupid? An Important OUMMCBNOM Expose

 In the OUMMCBNOM offices, this has become a topic of hot debate and, at
first glance, the answer seems obvious.  After careful observation of their
classmates, most students would conclude that humans are, at best, not very
bright.  And after so many years of trying our very hardest, we really aren't
much closer to world peace than Ug and Ooga, its founders, were when they
decided to use their clubs to beat dinosaurs instead of each other.

 Okay, so everyone makes mistakes.  Even we at the OUMMCBNOM make mistakes
occasionally, if only to allow us to continue to pass for humans.  If you
realize your errors and correct them fast enough, it doesn't count as
stupidity.  However, if you do not learn from your mistakes, you may
rightfully be classified as stupid.  We are considering the human race as a
whole, but what is considered unintelligent for one member of the unwashed
masses should be considered unintelligent for the group as a whole.  And if
one looks at history, the first thing they will notice is that the same
mistakes are repeated over and over again.

 Take war, for instance.  During the height of Vietnam, everyone pretty much
agreed that war wasn't such a great idea.  But what are we always preparing
to do today?  Go to war.  We realize that this is a bit oversimplified, but
no one seems to like wars.  After they are over, everyone goes home and
writes stories and poems about how tragic and horrid war is.  So, logic would
tell you that after all these years of human civilization, someone would have
come up with a better alternative.  Unless, of course, humans are all
inherently stupid.  Even if someone was able to come up with a decent
solution, the government would most likely decide that the idea was too
complex, and that picking up a gun and shooting someone was a much simpler,
better alternative.

 Of course, humans have done a number of wonderful, incredible things.  We
have explored expression through the arts, we have ventured into space, we
have gained much greater understanding of the world around us, we have built
democratic societies, we have written great poetry and literature.  But
periodically we come up with a way to destroy it all.  No matter what our
politicians say about the overwhelming benefits of the nuclear bomb, the fact
remains that its main purpose is to destroy all that humans have worked to

 Unfortunately, history is full of examples like this.  Maybe humans are
intelligent.  Maybe we are all just brilliant souls hungering for knowledge,
but we at the OUMMCBNOM kind of doubt it.  It seems that whoever labeled
humans "intelligent life" wasn't too bright either.

Previous Page | Next Page | Index