Writing A Winning Relationship Resume
Every day, it seems that meeting that special someone becomes more complicated. You meet an attractive man at work: what do you really know about him? A beautiful woman smiles seductively at you at the bar: should you trust her? What's a savvy young single to do? We at the OOW have the answer: the Curriculum D'Amore, or "relationship resume." Your Curriculum D'Amore contains all the information a prospective date needs to know about you: your relationship objective, experience, history, and more! Exchanging Curriculums D'Amore at the first sign of an impending date is a surefire way to weed out unworthy suitors and select only the most qualified applicants. This month, we've assembled some tips to help you write your Curriculum D'Amore. With this guide and a bit of your own special charm, you'll be on your way to dating bliss in no time.
Your Contact Information
The most important thing on your Curriculum D'Amore is also the most basic: your name, address, phone number, and email address. There's no need to disclose them all, and you may want to stick to temporary phone numbers and addresses if possible. In any case, do not use your parents' phone number or address. Be sure to choose an appropriate email address. Some suggestions:
This is your opportunity to tell that potentially special someone exactly what you're looking for, whether it's a long-term loving relationship, a fleeting loveless encounter, or an emotionally scarring debacle. Be sure the objective is tailored to the CD's recipient. Here are some of our suggestions:
- Objective: A relationship that will allow me to build experience for future endeavors.
- Objective: An opportunity to put the skills I learned in college into practice in the real world.
- Objective: Occassional release of animal passion.
- Objective: Suitable replacement for former lover.
- Objective: Someone to fix.
- Objective: An opportunity to use my skills to make a positive impact on my community.
- Objective: Someone to do my laundry.
- Objective: Secure "genetic winner" for procreation, cohabitation, marraige.
This section is especially important if you feel your "experience" section is underdeveloped: if, for instance, you have just graduated from junior high school and are ready for your first big relationship, or if you have decided to explore new relationship horizons and your previous experience does not seem relevant.
- Norup Middle School, "Personal Development" course, 1997
- University of Michigan, Freshman Orientation, 2000
- Extensive collection of relationship self-help books, including "Men and from Mars, Women are from Venus," "Where did I Come From," "Body Changes During Adolescence," and "A Machievellian Guide to Romance"
- "Loveline" listener
- Dedicated "Dawson's Creek" viewer
- Grew up on a farm
This section of the CD often causes writers needless anxiety. A skillfully written CD can make the pasty-faced basement-dwelling computer nerd into a raging stallion and the most ill-reputed woman into an empowered sophisticate. The key lies in a list of words we call "action words." Use them to describe your experience and suddenly you'll be surprised by just how desirable you are!
It is important to provide a list of references who know you well and can assure your potential other that you are Grade-A quality meat. List each reference's name, if you know it, and contact information. It is generally a poor practice to list relatives, and it is wise to check with your references before listing them. Some examples:
- Lucas Silverman, Ferndale, MI (248) 555-0313
- Tall guy from the bar, Williams Peanut Bar
- Wilt Chamberlain
- Professor Townsend, University of Minnesota, Minneapolis
- Shane, The Manline, 1-900-GET-SOME
Your CD is almost done! But without the right presentation, even the most appealing CD may get lost in the shuffle. How can you make yours stand out? Try these suggestions:
- Choose paper that accents the content of your Curriculum D'Amore. Perhaps a feminine pink paper or soft "touch me" felt is up your alley. You may also want to try paper that will be bulky and uncomfortable in someone's pocket. Not only is it a conversation-starter, but he will be sure not to leave it in his pocket for long!
- The right font is the way to his or her heart! Pick one that's easy to read and shows the real you. Use a sans serif font to show him you're for real, and try to avoid overuse of capitalization: capitals scream "LOVE ME, I'M DESPERATE."
- Don't forget to personalize the paper with your trademark scent!
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